AizawaxLight Just Doesn't Work
by The iPod Addict
Summary: A dare by Loves-Chihuahuas. Obviously, Light belongs to L and L ALONE. Why, you ask? Read to find out. But don't say you weren't warned. Warning: You may want to burn your computer after reading this crack pairing. AizawaxLight Implied IdexMatsuda


_**A/N:** Oh my gosh someone is actually reading this?! Yay!! I hope you don't die/kill yourself in the process!! ^-^ Don't blame me. Loves-Chihuahuas wrote a dare for all us authors and after reading this idea, I couldn't get it out of my head.  
Light's probably really OOC in this but I couldn't stop thinking of Dane Cook.  
**Warning:** You may be scarred for life after reading this.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Death Note_. In fact, there's a Light/Aizawa on this site so I'm don't even own that pairing!!_

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**Third Person POV**

Aizawa woke up.

Yes, that was so very fascinating that I had to use it to start the story.

So anyway, upon waking up, Aizawa realised he wasn't at home, sleeping in his beautiful bed next to his ugly wife.

Uh, switch that around. Ugly bed, beautiful wife.

Aizawa sighed. It wasn't that his wife was _ugly_, it was just that...

Oh, to Hell with it. He was going to come out and admit it already.

Shuichi Aizawa was gay.

_'There. See? The world didn't end,'_ Aizawa thought.

It wasn't as if he didn't know _himself_. He just never wanted to admit it.

Except, due to the position he was currently in, he didn't really have to.

Aizawa sighed. Was last night a mistake? Would the teen regret it, being utterly repulsed with him? He wouldn't blame the teen if he never wanted to talk to him again. What he did was unforgettable and unforgivable.

But... What if the teen actually _enjoyed_ last night's activities? Hell, what if the teen even returned his feelings?

_'No,'_ he thought. He shouldn't get such hopes up. If Aizawa were anything like Ryuzaki, he would've thought, _'The percentage of him reciprocating his own feelings were low, maybe seven percent...'_

...

But seven percent was more likely that zero, right?

Aizawa tried to dramatically run his hand through his hair as he's seen Light do on multiple occasions but his hand got stuck in the curls.

Grunting, he tried pulling it back out.

Oh no! It was stuck!!

The teen who was resting on Aizawa's chest squirmed and woke up. He lifted a drowsy head to look at Aizawa and opened one eye.

"Hi," Light said sleepily, yawning.

Aizawa began to sweat. As soon as Light realised what they did last night, surely he would begin to yell at him, possibly even try to hit him.

I mean, Aizawa was almost 100 percent sure that Light _Yagami_ wasn't even gay! No doubt that wouldn't have happened if Light wasn't drunk the night prior.

"Uh, hi," Aizawa answered, realising he had to at some point or another.

Light looked at him and smiled, hugging up to the older man.

Aizawa froze. He tried to figure out what Light's action meant. Did it mean he lo-_liked_ Aizawa as well? Or was he simply too tired to think about anything?

He figured he'd find out. "Uh, Light? D-Do you remember what we did? L-Last night?" he asked, gulping.

Light burried his head into Aizawa's neck. "Mhm. How could I forget? It was wonderful."

Aizawa couldn't be happier. Light didn't regret it! He remembered and didn't regret it!!

"I'm pretty sad that I had to pretend to be drunk for you to finally make a move. I thought you had more self-confidence," Light said, lifting his head and looking at Aizawa, who still had his hand in his hair.

"Well I didn't think someone like you could like someone like me," Aizawa admitted softy.

"What do you mean someone like me?"

"Beautiful. Gorgeous. Graceful. Intelligent. Brilliant. A genius," Aizawa said, "... straight."

Light looked shocked for a second before gently laughing. "Straight? Aizawa, my last name is 'I'm a gay' backwards. If that didn't tip you off, then I don't know what I could've done to make you realise it. If anything, I could barely tell that _you_ were gay."

Aizawa laughed. "I know, my afro is a pretty good cover."

Light smiled, running his hand through Aizawa's hair. "I love your afro."

Aizawa turned a slight pink, turning his head so he didn't have to look into Light's- beautiful- eyes. However, this caused his hand to move with him, making his elbow almost hit Light in the face.

"Why is your hand still in your hair?" Light asked.

"Uh... It's kind of... stuck..." Aizawa explained, going from pink to red.

Light sat up and grabbed Aizawa's arm, pulling on it. He grunted, trying to get it out but he couldn't.

Matsuda, who was walking outside their door, heard Light's sounds. Wondering what was going on, the curious agent opened the door. "Are you guys okay in here? DHFSJKHHSJKDF!!" he yelled, pointing at the scene in front of him.

Light was straddling Aizawa. Both were half naked, wearing only boxers and undershirts. Light's eyes were screwed shut in concentration but could easily be seen as something else. And Aizawa's hand looked like it was gripping his own hair in that same emotion.

Light's eyes snapped open and he looked at Matsuda in shock. "Matsuda, it's not what it looks like," Aizawa said, trying to calm the agent down.

"Yeah," Light agreed. "_That_ happened last night!"

Matsuda fainted.

Aizawa face-palmed, using his other hand. "Great job, Light," he muttered sarcastically.

Light put his hands on his hips and glared at Aizawa. "Well excuse me for trying to help, _Afro-man_."

Aizawa glared back, even though Light's glare was much more evil.

"That's it! I'm going back to LxLight! At least _he_ doesn't mock me for my stupid moments!!" And with that, Light walked out of the fanfic and into a different one.

Aizawa got sad and lonely and got a haircut because he just realised that nobody has afros anymore.

And Matsuda...

Well, no one cares about what happens to him so the authoress just left him lay there on the floor until Ide came up to him...

With alcohol and a condom.

Oh shit.

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_**A/N:** OH MY GOSH YOU'RE STILL ALIVE! YOU'VE SURVIVED MY SEMI-TORTURE!! ... Unless you're blind now. Or puked on the screen. So, yeah, I just couldn't take AizawaxLight any longer and had to give Light back to his rightful pairing partner, L. ^-^  
Apparently Matsuda has a thing for dead girls and Ide has a thing for fainted guys! Or maybe it's just fainted Matsudas?  
**Review!** **Flames are welcome as long as it's not only because of the pairing.**_


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